Why I'm Doing What I'm Doing
Recently, Oprah Winfrey shared with us a powerful message in her acceptance of the Cecil B. DeMille Award at the 2018 Golden Globes. She says, "what I know for sure is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have." With gusto, she accentuates the words truth and powerful tool and makes sure to tell us that the truth is something that we all have.
Over the past, few days, I have shared my truth with friends, family and colleagues. I have to say that I'm overwhelmed by the love and support that I've received from people--some of whom I haven't spoken to in years. This acceptance and support is an even greater indicator to me that what I'm doing is the right thing, that taking a giant risk and leaping into the unknown is what I'm meant to do.
There are always going to be naysayers and those who question the decisions we make. There are those who will discuss your personal choices at the dinner table as though they are hosting an MSNBC news hour. There are those who will read into your actions and decide that you must be losing your mind, fighting depression and going off the proverbial deep end. For anyone who has had apprehensions about my life choices, I honestly do thank you. At first, it felt like a negative phenomenon to hear about these anxieties highlighted about my future travels. I also was 'triggered' by others questioning me and my decision-making abilities. Yet, as I dove deeper into this element of personal inquiry, I discovered that it is me who needs to remain confident in my choices. It is me who decides my next step. And if I'm upset about what some people may say, then perhaps there is something within me that needs to be healed, first. I'm being challenged to listen to my inner guidance and have confidence in my ability to make positive life choices, while others may be challenged to allow themselves the space for trust and faith.
All my life, I have worried about what others think of me. To tell you the truth, I liked being the "over-achiever" because of what certain accolades look like on a resume. That is not to say that I never enjoyed being a mayor or that I took-on said position for personal gain; the inspiration to become a mayor was quite the opposite, in fact. Yet, I admit that having certain "titles" or accomplishments to tack-on to my curriculum vitae felt really good. And it should make me feel good. I should feel proud to have earned these achievements. I did work hard. I know what commitment to hard work means.
At the same time, this past year has challenged me to question each part of my identity for the sake of finding my authentic selfhood. I gave up the title of "Mrs." and "wife." I left my position as mayor when I moved. I stepped down from the board of Equality Pennsylvania. I left the comfort of my hometown where I'm pretty much either related to everyone or know everyone and moved to a town where I don't know very many people at all. And now I am giving up the Director of Student Development title and relationship with Harrisburg Area Community College, a place that I've called my other home for almost 10 years.
Giving up these parts of myself was certainly a conscious choice, yet that doesn't mean that shedding parts of yourself is easy. It's hard! It's hard to walk away from the things that have given shape to our reality for a long time. Risks are risky. Add to the equation the fact that I've started to integrate spirituality and mindfulness into my life more, and you have a recipe for a lot of misunderstanding.
The reason I bring up the spiritual aspect is because I think there is a lot of misunderstanding about how to integrate "being spiritual" into your everyday life. Honestly, all it freaking means is that I'm more mindful of who I am and how I interact with others. That's it! Yet, when you start to tell people that you've connected with other people through "spiritual" Facebook groups or when you talk about "energy work" (like reiki), sometimes you're met with a worried facial expression. And worried words. Spirituality, to me, is not like being in a cult. Or like following a set doctrine. It does not mean that I don't believe in the value of world religions like Christianity, Islam, Judaism or Buddhism. In fact, it's quite the opposite: I love reading about religion and incorporating spiritual teachings into my personal belief system. Further, when you begin to create your personal belief system by questioning the "norm," you start to develop more empathy for others and teach yourself more about seeing things from others' perspectives. You begin to appreciate how interconnected world religion really is, and you start to appreciate the benefit of incorporating things like God and faith and unconditional love for others into your life. You learn to forgive and have compassion. You learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and not judge yourself so harshly. You learn that you're never alone and that every choice you make--when you follow your heart--is always the right choice. You begin to see that every apprehension you've ever had is due to fear or a lack of understanding.
If I could give anything to anyone, it'd be the ability to love themselves. When you love yourself, nothing can hurt you. Words, deeds, criticisms--they all don't matter as long as you love yourself. I'm not talking about narcissistic love, obviously. Rather, I'm talking about the ability to see yourself as a soul who is worthy of always being loved and accepted. In each of us lies a divine spark, a soul, which is pure and good and infinitely beautiful. When I started to understand this, I felt as though it's easier to communicate with others and to finally listen to my own, inner guidance. I'll write a separate blog about spirituality, but that's essentially it in a nutshell.
What is important at this time is that I remain strong in my truth and that I have faith in myself. I know in my bones that I will be successful by taking-on this venture into the unknown. I just know it! My lack of worry isn't due to an apparent naivete. I don't look at this next step as "grass is greener" moment. And yes, I am a bit scared! But the truth is--my truth--we'll never get where we want to go if we never make moves to get there. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I know that the universe will send me the "fated" opportunity for a new job and a new way to celebrate life. I know that this is the right path for me. I know that it doesn't make sense to some. But it doesn't have to.
Remember to always stand in your truth. Have faith in yourself. And take with you--always--compassion for others, as well as an open mind. When you carry these things with you, these powerful tools in which Oprah refers to, you will always end up in the right place.
Over the past, few days, I have shared my truth with friends, family and colleagues. I have to say that I'm overwhelmed by the love and support that I've received from people--some of whom I haven't spoken to in years. This acceptance and support is an even greater indicator to me that what I'm doing is the right thing, that taking a giant risk and leaping into the unknown is what I'm meant to do.
There are always going to be naysayers and those who question the decisions we make. There are those who will discuss your personal choices at the dinner table as though they are hosting an MSNBC news hour. There are those who will read into your actions and decide that you must be losing your mind, fighting depression and going off the proverbial deep end. For anyone who has had apprehensions about my life choices, I honestly do thank you. At first, it felt like a negative phenomenon to hear about these anxieties highlighted about my future travels. I also was 'triggered' by others questioning me and my decision-making abilities. Yet, as I dove deeper into this element of personal inquiry, I discovered that it is me who needs to remain confident in my choices. It is me who decides my next step. And if I'm upset about what some people may say, then perhaps there is something within me that needs to be healed, first. I'm being challenged to listen to my inner guidance and have confidence in my ability to make positive life choices, while others may be challenged to allow themselves the space for trust and faith.
All my life, I have worried about what others think of me. To tell you the truth, I liked being the "over-achiever" because of what certain accolades look like on a resume. That is not to say that I never enjoyed being a mayor or that I took-on said position for personal gain; the inspiration to become a mayor was quite the opposite, in fact. Yet, I admit that having certain "titles" or accomplishments to tack-on to my curriculum vitae felt really good. And it should make me feel good. I should feel proud to have earned these achievements. I did work hard. I know what commitment to hard work means.
At the same time, this past year has challenged me to question each part of my identity for the sake of finding my authentic selfhood. I gave up the title of "Mrs." and "wife." I left my position as mayor when I moved. I stepped down from the board of Equality Pennsylvania. I left the comfort of my hometown where I'm pretty much either related to everyone or know everyone and moved to a town where I don't know very many people at all. And now I am giving up the Director of Student Development title and relationship with Harrisburg Area Community College, a place that I've called my other home for almost 10 years.
Giving up these parts of myself was certainly a conscious choice, yet that doesn't mean that shedding parts of yourself is easy. It's hard! It's hard to walk away from the things that have given shape to our reality for a long time. Risks are risky. Add to the equation the fact that I've started to integrate spirituality and mindfulness into my life more, and you have a recipe for a lot of misunderstanding.
The reason I bring up the spiritual aspect is because I think there is a lot of misunderstanding about how to integrate "being spiritual" into your everyday life. Honestly, all it freaking means is that I'm more mindful of who I am and how I interact with others. That's it! Yet, when you start to tell people that you've connected with other people through "spiritual" Facebook groups or when you talk about "energy work" (like reiki), sometimes you're met with a worried facial expression. And worried words. Spirituality, to me, is not like being in a cult. Or like following a set doctrine. It does not mean that I don't believe in the value of world religions like Christianity, Islam, Judaism or Buddhism. In fact, it's quite the opposite: I love reading about religion and incorporating spiritual teachings into my personal belief system. Further, when you begin to create your personal belief system by questioning the "norm," you start to develop more empathy for others and teach yourself more about seeing things from others' perspectives. You begin to appreciate how interconnected world religion really is, and you start to appreciate the benefit of incorporating things like God and faith and unconditional love for others into your life. You learn to forgive and have compassion. You learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and not judge yourself so harshly. You learn that you're never alone and that every choice you make--when you follow your heart--is always the right choice. You begin to see that every apprehension you've ever had is due to fear or a lack of understanding.
If I could give anything to anyone, it'd be the ability to love themselves. When you love yourself, nothing can hurt you. Words, deeds, criticisms--they all don't matter as long as you love yourself. I'm not talking about narcissistic love, obviously. Rather, I'm talking about the ability to see yourself as a soul who is worthy of always being loved and accepted. In each of us lies a divine spark, a soul, which is pure and good and infinitely beautiful. When I started to understand this, I felt as though it's easier to communicate with others and to finally listen to my own, inner guidance. I'll write a separate blog about spirituality, but that's essentially it in a nutshell.
What is important at this time is that I remain strong in my truth and that I have faith in myself. I know in my bones that I will be successful by taking-on this venture into the unknown. I just know it! My lack of worry isn't due to an apparent naivete. I don't look at this next step as "grass is greener" moment. And yes, I am a bit scared! But the truth is--my truth--we'll never get where we want to go if we never make moves to get there. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I know that the universe will send me the "fated" opportunity for a new job and a new way to celebrate life. I know that this is the right path for me. I know that it doesn't make sense to some. But it doesn't have to.Remember to always stand in your truth. Have faith in yourself. And take with you--always--compassion for others, as well as an open mind. When you carry these things with you, these powerful tools in which Oprah refers to, you will always end up in the right place.
Comments
Post a Comment